April 16, 2006

Day 53: Hao’s sister writes of family confusion

Filed under: Nina's blog — Rebecca MacKinnon @ 5:18 pm

Thanks to pseudonymous blogger Nausicaa Smile for translating Nina’s April 15th post, titled “Confusion:”

Hubby only told me over the phone today that yesterday, while absent-mindedly worrying over my brother’s and my situation, he’d crashed the car.

Mom also called brother’s apartment this morning. Fortunately, brother’s friend picked up and consoled her by promising to leave Haozi a note to get him to call home as soon as possible. Brother’s birthday is April 18th – looks like it’s getting almost impossible now to hide the truth. I sent another text message to the number of that still shut-off cellphone, asking them to at least let brother call home and concoct some excuse to reassure his parents, seeing as how the old couple aren’t in the best of health. I don’t know if they aren’t paying any attention still. I can only let hubby plan for the worst.

I gaze out the window at the willow catkins flying around, my feelings in an equal riot. Who has made our lives into such a bundle of mess? Have I let all the relatives and friends surrounding me feel pressured? The situation being what it is, I can only blame myself for being useless.

I am still pondering: if I were imprisoned inside, what would my brother be like outside? I trust that he too, would be doing all he possibly could. After all, through our veins flows the same blood - inseparable is the love of kin.

Right now, I feel so helpless. I truly don’t know what I can still do?


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